This was my happy place, my favorite group of kids!
As much as I wanted it to be a Thursday in June, it was a Wednesday in April!
Sometimes it is so easy to pretend that I am not so far away or that it is really not that hard to be so far away! I am an optimist by nature, and strive to see the good in most things. I unfortunately ignore and push away the bad! Today I was hit by the reality of leaving everything that I loved!
Most people would say that Bossier City,LA is not the place where they would pick to live out their life, but I would! Being the optimist I purposely try to not think of the hard things, the sad things; but some days it's all that I can think of!
Today I took my boys to the movies, I love to take them to movies because they are the age where we can see things that we all like. I preordered tickets, dropped off Claire and got to the theatre in plenty of time to get our snack packs, that is when reality bit me in the ass! I walked in the theater and there was a large group of moms and kids meeting to see the movies together, I wanted so bad to blink and it be my group! I wanted it to be one of my buddies grabbing the kids while another mom saved the twenty something seats that we always needed! I wanted so bad to be able to have Hunter sit with his group of buddies and Taylor to sit with his group of friends, and by God I wanted my group of friends!!!!!!! Where was Christen, Lisa, Candy when I needed them-all I wanted at that moment was one of my friends! Some may not think that a simple day at the movies with friends could mean so much, but you have not left everyone that you call friend! I almost couldn't breathe it hurt so bad! I wish I could wake up and be home! I wish I would have known then what I know now, that I would not have the chance again to sit with this group, to listen to ten of Taylor's buddies laughing or to watch Hunter and Cyrus eating popcorn! Today I hate it here, and I want my old life back! My advise to you- eat it up! Love every moment of it, do everything with your friends that you can; because these are the days you will remember forever! My heart aches for my sweet Taylor, he has yet to find a place to fit in, he does have a few friends and he seems happy but I know what he is missing! He is missing his buddy John E playing sports and guns outside, he is missing his friends Thomas and Cade and the stories they would tell, he is missing Peyton, Davis, Jarrett, Eric and many more! Oh my Hunter, how he is missing Cyrus! There is something about a little boy and his best friend, one that in his mind he has had forever! And how I miss my friends, I miss being able to sit and talk kids, life and whatever else and I miss laughing! I miss laughing with them, I miss ball games and getting to see all of my sweet friends who cared about me and my family!
Today has been a day of great longing, a day of wanting to go home! I would go back to Bossier if I could, I know this is where I am supposed to be , but damn it is hard sometimes! I have gotten good at covering the hurt with a positive, but today it was too hard! Today I would die for it to be a Thursday morning in June and to be rushing to save twenty seats at a movie!
Sometimes it is so easy to pretend that I am not so far away or that it is really not that hard to be so far away! I am an optimist by nature, and strive to see the good in most things. I unfortunately ignore and push away the bad! Today I was hit by the reality of leaving everything that I loved!
Most people would say that Bossier City,LA is not the place where they would pick to live out their life, but I would! Being the optimist I purposely try to not think of the hard things, the sad things; but some days it's all that I can think of!
Today I took my boys to the movies, I love to take them to movies because they are the age where we can see things that we all like. I preordered tickets, dropped off Claire and got to the theatre in plenty of time to get our snack packs, that is when reality bit me in the ass! I walked in the theater and there was a large group of moms and kids meeting to see the movies together, I wanted so bad to blink and it be my group! I wanted it to be one of my buddies grabbing the kids while another mom saved the twenty something seats that we always needed! I wanted so bad to be able to have Hunter sit with his group of buddies and Taylor to sit with his group of friends, and by God I wanted my group of friends!!!!!!! Where was Christen, Lisa, Candy when I needed them-all I wanted at that moment was one of my friends! Some may not think that a simple day at the movies with friends could mean so much, but you have not left everyone that you call friend! I almost couldn't breathe it hurt so bad! I wish I could wake up and be home! I wish I would have known then what I know now, that I would not have the chance again to sit with this group, to listen to ten of Taylor's buddies laughing or to watch Hunter and Cyrus eating popcorn! Today I hate it here, and I want my old life back! My advise to you- eat it up! Love every moment of it, do everything with your friends that you can; because these are the days you will remember forever! My heart aches for my sweet Taylor, he has yet to find a place to fit in, he does have a few friends and he seems happy but I know what he is missing! He is missing his buddy John E playing sports and guns outside, he is missing his friends Thomas and Cade and the stories they would tell, he is missing Peyton, Davis, Jarrett, Eric and many more! Oh my Hunter, how he is missing Cyrus! There is something about a little boy and his best friend, one that in his mind he has had forever! And how I miss my friends, I miss being able to sit and talk kids, life and whatever else and I miss laughing! I miss laughing with them, I miss ball games and getting to see all of my sweet friends who cared about me and my family!
Today has been a day of great longing, a day of wanting to go home! I would go back to Bossier if I could, I know this is where I am supposed to be , but damn it is hard sometimes! I have gotten good at covering the hurt with a positive, but today it was too hard! Today I would die for it to be a Thursday morning in June and to be rushing to save twenty seats at a movie!
This is our(MY) movie group!
1 comment:
I'm sorry Megan. It is hard. I know it's not the same, but maybe we could ALL go to the movies with our kids (except for Graham...LOL). Maybe if we all went it wouldn't feel so lonely. If you ever want to have a cup of coffee or something, let me know. ((HUGS))
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