Did I really just move to another country, was it just 4 months ago that I thought my perfect little world was falling apart? Halloween- Did it really go that fast, will my princess ever wear her Snow White costume (that I spent a fortune on)again? Will my boys still want to be football players (we like the Tim Tebow types, not the Mike Vick types!)or are they going to think they are too cool to dress up? Thanksgiving, where did that go? Sadly, Christmas also rushed by me! This is the one that saddens me the most. what a magical time in little one's eyes. Will it always be magic, how many more times will my babies hear Santa's bells-as far as I am concerned forever!
2009 already, Seriously where did 2008 go? Glad there were somethings that rushed by me, but that's a whole year of being a mom-gone! Did I ever think I would make it to March, here I am in South Africa(still have to grasp that one)a place I thought I would never travel to, much less live in!
What sparked this immediate attention to time, I do not know. Maybe because now when I look in the mirror I do not see the girl who was just getting carded at restaurants a few years ago, or I do not see the young mom toting a baby and chasing a toddler around (I still chase!). Now I am the mom that worries about my children's college education(will I be able to afford three)or the mom that worries what the US is going to be like in two years when we go back. Will they welcome us or will it be so different that we do not welcome the change?
Where is the pause button? I would push it right now! Taylor pretending to be Survivor Man in the back yard, Claire running and playing with a huge smile, and the sweet sound of Hunter's laugh! This is what I want- to stop-to listen-to relish- to feel so fulfilled!
Unfortunately there is no pause button, life will go on and start again tomorrow!
Had these last few months been different if my prayers had been answered so many months ago-Lord, please let this all be a dream and keep me home!
The answer comes to me from the verse of this song (I do not know artist or song title):
"I was sure by now, God, you would have reached down and wiped our tears away: stepped in and saved the day. Once again, I say Amen, that its still raining!"
Had God stepped in and wiped my tears and stopped the rain, I would not have discovered another part of the world, I would not have discovered how strong I am, how strong my family is! So I will resolve the fact that there is no pause button, but know that God has a plan for me, for my kids, for this world. Bring it On!
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